Hoot’n & Holler’n With Matt Mitchell

Remember when downloading one song could take all night, destroy the family computer, or turn out to be something completely different?

This week, Matt Mitchell, Joey Prestley, Eric Nix, and Drake Pittman are heading back to the golden age of online music piracy: Napster, LimeWire, Kazaa, burned CDs, dial-up internet, mislabeled MP3s, portable CD players, cassette adapters and the thrill of risking everything for a free Nelly song.

We swap stories about selling burned CDs, downloading questionable files, the songs permanently ruined by skips and glitches, and the truly ridiculous amount of work it once took just to make a playlist for your car.

Plus: the music industry's war on piracy, “You Wouldn't Steal a Car,” Garth Brooks' refusal to make things easy, and some deeply questionable homemade mixtapes.

Fire up the family computer, grab a blank Memorex and whatever you do, don't pick up the phone. We're downloading something.

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Before you were old enough to suit up on Friday nights, you were out there anyway just running routes on a strip of grass by the bleachers, using whatever you could find (or steal) for a football. This week Matt, Eric, Drake, and Joey rank the unofficial hierarchy of sideline football gear, from the elite stolen-from-the-field-house ball down to the dreaded three-liter Coke bottle stuffed with rocks. They get into tackle vs. tag rules, pretending to be Cowboys or Bills for a quarter, and the eternal question of when you're too old to still be playing keep-away on the walking track. Plus: two all-time fashion-fail stories, including a bootleg Elmo shirt from a Galleria kiosk that's now going for $85 on eBay, and the night Drake's silk Rock-inspired button-up got ripped clean down the middle mid-game.

A Southerner's Guide to Gulf Shores & Orange Beach

Yes, Alabama has beaches — barely enough to earn the plural, but they're ours and we love them. This week the boys take you down to Gulf Shores and Orange Beach, the biggest non-Florida beach on the Gulf Coast and the reigning rival to Panama City.

We get into it all: which states send the most tourists down to our sand (Louisiana's got no beaches of their own, apparently), the smallest Hooters in the entire world, the Souvenir City shark you've had your picture made in for 40 years, and that glorious moment coming over the bridge when the windows come down no matter the temperature.

Then we rank the food — Fish River Grill, Docs, DeSoto's, Shrimp Basket, Lulu's, and the great Waffle House fog — before spending entirely too long on our shared hatred of Lambert's and their throwed rolls (a cautionary tale involving a fumbled roll, an innocent lady, and a drink spilled straight into a lap). Plus rainy day survival: Fat Daddy's arcade, mosquito-infested putt-putt, and the maze that is the Foley outlets.

Grab a koozie and roll the windows down. It's time to Hoot and Holler.

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The fellas are hungry and getting nostalgic about the all-you-can-eat buffet — a dying breed. Matt, Eric, and Joey dig into Golden Corral, Ryan's, Quincy's, Shoney's, and Western Sizzling, stumble into the wild web of Southern restaurant founders behind Captain D's and Shoney's Big Boy, argue the unwritten rules of the buffet line, and remember every gross thing they ever saw at Ryan's. Plus: big fat yeast rolls, a South Carolina Quincy's phone call, and a plan for the 100th episode. Drake's out on a birthday trip, so nobody's reviewing the food.

Grab merch at gettinplace.com and use code HOOT for a free mystery koozie.

Check out hootnandhollern.com for bios on the crew and their social links.

Bro Country: Who Killed Country Radio?

Matt, Eric, Drake, and Joey pour one out for country radio and try to pin down exactly when it all went sideways. What is bro country? A New York Magazine writer coined the term in 2013, but the guys trace the rot back much further — through Kenny Chesney's abs, Jason Aldean's dirt roads, and a fateful night watching Luke Bryan shake it for a tornado benefit crowd. Along the way they litigate whether Johnny Cash invented rap, why nobody puts effort into a chorus anymore, and how "Chicken Fried" became the most overrated song in the genre.

It's not all hate, though. This is a safe space, and confessions get made: guilty-pleasure Sam Hunt deep cuts, Florida Georgia Line bangers, and at least one full-throated defense of "Honky Tonk Badonkadonk." Plus: award shows are a sham, Yellowstone is bro country in TV form, and we'd pay real money to watch Eminem battle Jason Aldean in a country-fried remake of 8 Mile.

Grab a red Solo cup and settle in. 

VBS Fight Club

Grab a Dixie cup of watered-down Kool-Aid and pull up a folding chair — this week the boys are digging into Vacation Bible School, that summertime rite of passage for every kid raised in a Southern Baptist stronghold. Matt, Eric, Drake, and Joey trace VBS from its surprising origins (a rented beer hall in New York City, believe it or not) all the way to today's megachurch productions with parking attendants and Monsters Inc. themed sanctuaries.

Along the way they get into the stuff you actually remember: the sand-flavored cookies, the "spy Jesus" who crept around one church in a wig and a football jersey, the infamous Rickshaw Rally theme nobody wants to talk about anymore, human videos and white-glove dramatic dances, a pie-eating contest gone wrong, and yes — the kid who tried to start a fight club in the middle of VBS. Plus getting dragged to the altar for admitting you don't like reading the Bible, and one unforgettable gravel-slinging exit from the church parking lot.

Was the slapped-together backwoods VBS of the old days better than the polished version kids get now? The fellas hash it out. New episodes every week — if you enjoy it, do us a favor and subscribe.

Go to Church or the Devil'll Get You

Pull over, we're stopping. This week the boys are riding shotgun through the South's greatest (and grimmest) roadside attractions — the giant Tin Man outside Demopolis, W.C. Rice's Cross Garden, the chrome bumper chicken, and that peach water tower that looks suspiciously like a butt. We rank the go-to stops (Peach Park cobbler, forever), crown the most overrated (sorry, Biltmore), and settle whether a man standing on his porch counts as a landmark.

From See Rock City barns to Buc-ee's, Ruby Falls to a $15 mud house in the middle of Colorado, it's a love letter to every billboard that ever talked you into pulling off the interstate. Grab a bag of boiled peanuts and ride along.

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The gang is playing along at home this week as we run the whole game show gauntlet — from the daytime classics you watched while faking sick to the chaos of late-night Japanese TV.

Matt, Eric, Drake, and Joey get into Price Is Right, Wheel of Fortune, and the Pat Sajak / Vanna White era, then argue about Steve Harvey's reign on Family Feud (and every host before him — Richard Dawson and that very long microphone, Ray Combs, Louie Anderson, and the "Al Borland" guy). We hit the big-money primetime boom with Who Wants to Be a Millionaire and Deal or No Deal, the celebrity editions nobody asked for, and the panel-show heyday of Hollywood Squares, Match Game, and $10,000 Pyramid.

Then things get physical: American Gladiators, Pros vs. Joes, Fear Factor, Wipeout, MXC, and the Nickelodeon hall of fame — Double Dare, Guts, the Aggro Crag, and Legends of the Hidden Temple. Plus Game Show Network nostalgia, a mystery early-2000s show nobody can name, and a childhood teacher who actually went on Double Dare and won.

Where's the line between a game show and a reality show? Is Survivor a game show? The Bachelor? Naked and Afraid? We don't fully settle it, but we have a great time trying.

A Southern Guide to the 4th of July

The South does Independence Day different, and we've got the receipts to prove it. This episode breaks down why TNT Fireworks (the nation's largest fireworks distributor) calls Alabama home, the unwritten rules of haggling at a firework stand, and exactly when it's socially acceptable to stop shooting off Roman candles in your neighbor's driveway.

We also get into the surprisingly heavy overlap between church and country on the 4th — LifeWay's data on pastors working patriotic music into Sunday service, the unofficial ranking of National Anthem performances (Whitney Houston vs. Chris Stapleton vs. an all-time Fergie disaster), and why "God Bless the USA" might be the most-sung song in America you didn't know had a survey behind it.

Then it's on to the cookout: burgers vs. hot dogs vs. ribs by the numbers, the baked beans vs. potato salad standoff, and why a giant flag-frosted cookie cake might be the most patriotic dessert in America.

Grab a cold one, fire up the grill, and let us walk you through how it's really done here. 

A vault episode from the early days, back when we were still calling the show Scattered and Covered and recording on location instead of in a studio. This one comes from Gamers Guild, a game shop in Jasper, Alabama, where we sat down in the middle of a Sunday night card tournament and talked to the folks running it.

We get into trading cards and the people who collect them, a binder that turned out to be worth more than most people's retirement, '90s satanic panic, dorm-room LAN parties, the worst Captain D's sandwich ever assembled, and a serious investigation into how many people in the room were carrying swords. Mostly we just hang out and wander around one very chaotic shopping center.

This is the last of our vault episodes — the fourth and final on-location recording we had in the can. Thanks for sticking with us from the beginning.